Hammered Quads

Busting out

2010-05-31T17:38:00.002-05:00

While the details of the last couple months would probably make interesting reading (or perhaps that's simply egocentrism on my part), I am going to choose omission instead. It should go without saying, however, that four adults with disparate patterns and habits attempting to work together in a career that will expose psychological flaws that were either invisible or submerged before...well, it is not for the faint of heart. It should also go without saying that the endeavor is worthwhile though still possible to leave with the honor of all parties in tact when it no longer benefits anyone. This is the juncture we have reached. Though sooner than any of us expected, it was always acknowledged as a distinct possibility for Poker House. Certainly I can only speak for my part, but I have to say that I have been enriched and challenged in ways that I wouldn't have been otherwise. One of the elements I intend to continue actually is the practice of tracking this journey of ours in writing. In order to honor the entity that was but is no longer, I have decided to start a blog of my own and focus more specifically on my developing identity as a female poker player and all that entails. While still speaking in this venue for this last time, however, I would like to thank all the folks that have been following our exploits on Hammered Quads. It has been fun reading the comments and sharing this short though interesting bit of history shared between the four of us in Poker House. If you would like to follow my blog, you can find it at tankers-area52.blogspot.com. So, as Jacob would say: "May the force be with you....

...

Always."

And then there were three.

2010-05-16T23:42:00.003-05:00

Don't worry - the game hasn't defeated anyone.....yet. But Threads13 has moved on to greener pastures. Well really he's moved on to lots of grey, rainy days, concrete, grunge rock, and Starbucks (ok I admit I kinda like all those things 'cept one). You guessed it- met a girl in Seattle, which of course makes it pretty hard to stay in Prairieton, IN. Incidentally we are looking for new roommate. Inquire within.

Superchimp and Tankers are out of town for a while, so Greta (the dog) and I are currently the lone occupants of Poker House.

So the subject of the day is stress. Poker has become stressful. Sure we all expected the fun to wear off a bit and for poker to start feeling like work. After all it is work. But I for one am starting to feel stressed about playing in much the same way as I would feel stressed about going to the office, or even (shudder) writing a legal memo. Thankfully it is to a lesser degree...and I think it will pass eventually. I've still played only about 200k hands since going pro. That sounds like a ton, but remember we get 300 to 500 hands an hour playing online. Anyway, the point is that there is a lot of variance in this game and I'm still getting used to it. I think after 500K or 1 million hands or something like that it will be easier to back up and look at the big picture and rarely worry about what is won or lost in a particular day, week, or month.

And hell, I've got no boss, make my own hours, and get to tell people I play poker for a living. How cool is all that? Certainly worth a little stress. Especially when the alternatives have stress of their own. It's just a little unexpected is all.

So on to the most important point: Holkan rush still owns on Monarch level! The thing that makes it work so well (better than traditional axe rush, imo) is that you don't need iron, and therefore never need to spend time founding a second city, building road, mine, or researching iron working. Just research bronze working and hunting and voila!...4 strength units immune to 1st strikes and with city raider promotions. Start the game by building two workers, then chop rush barracks and keep chopping until you have a stack of 8 or so. Head straight for enemy capital. Add salt.

So that's it for now. Join us next time when we'll be duct-taping clocks to all kinds a different stuff.

Back in Black and Miscelleny

2010-04-21T11:01:00.002-05:00

Eeeeeeee is back on his A-game. Owning souls and taking names. My first big downswing is behind me and I'm tougher for it. The next one will be a little easier and hopefully shorter. I realize it could start tomorrow, but it could also start a year from now. If I stay positive and playing my best the latter is more likely.

Miscelleny:

1. I ran into a common problem of the self-employed this month that I didn't think would apply to me: I didn't work enough hours. At first the excuse was that I was on a downswing and not playing my best - a time when I think playing less hours is +EV both short- and long-term. Then I recorded a couple nice wins and quit early in the day - feeling the psychological need to sit on a win since they had been rare. But around April 10th or 12th or something, I ran out of legitimate excuses (the discovery of Civilization IV doesn't count) and still slacked on my hours. So that's going to stop.

2. No joke - a former shortstacker was sitting on the minimum buy-in at one of the new 40BB minimum tables. He was in the big blind when I stole from the button and he shoved his stack in with ATo. Some people just can't let go of the old ways.

That "strategy", learnable in 5 minutes, used to be both annoying for me and profitable for him - even though I spend hours a day studying poker and improving, and am probably more talented than him to begin with.

Now, in order to simplify the game to one street he has risk twice as much money to win the same amount. In other words, he has to make a massive mistake. That guy, who doesn't really know how to play poker, is now what he ought to be: a fish. And I hope the soulless bastards who nearly ruined poker for everyone lose a lot of money before they realize this strategy is mathematically dead.

3. I've started playing some 100 NL (or $.50/$1.00 if you will, since not all the tables are really $100 max buy-in). I expect to gradually transition to that level over the next month or two, but from what I've seen so far and what my housemates are telling me, I should be a theoretical winner immediately.

Ok that's it. Next time we examine the question: "Can a Holkan rush wipe out the AI on Monarch level?"

Some good...some bad

2010-04-12T23:04:00.000-05:00

As related to my vent post about shortstackers, we have just received news that our preferred site has instituted some new rules that have given us a good dose of hope. Which is a good and welcome thing always, but especially on the heels of so much break even results in this house in the past month and a half. I mean, I'm raking it in at the 25NL, but those players are practically begging to give away their money. Literally. I watched a conversation/transaction occur at one of my tables just yesterday in which a tilting player insisted on giving away the rest of her bankroll to the first requestor. Now, her remaining bankroll was something like $9.55, but still. That's ten bucks for free and where else are you going to find that? But back to the point, which is that the games are about to get closer to poker than slot machines for the first time in a while. Hopefully. We will have to see how it actually plays out. And, while hope is an often dangerous thing, it is also very good and very refreshing. I guess, spring fever helps the effervescence a bit too. I say, bring it on.

April is already March

2010-04-07T11:18:00.002-05:00

As I've mentioned before, I took a lot of time off in March. My hand totals in March were something silly like.... 3k hand... for the... whole... month. Woo hoo! Well... I'm proud to report that as of yesterday I have equaled that total in April. March = April, ftw.

Look out! 125k hands a month here I come! (that will probably never happen)

I'm pretty happy with where my game is at currently. My tilt has cut WAY down and I'm just playing some really solid poker. I feel like pretty soon I'll be back to logging 4k hands in a day and putting down some good profit months.

Life in general is going pretty awesomely right now. I've been doing a lot of videos for DC recently which is something I've been meaning to do for some time. I've been spending a lot of time in Seattle with the girl I'm seeing. Can't complain.

As for right now... it's time to do the pre-session routine and log a session. Poker!!!

In like a lion....out like a lamb.

2010-04-01T12:42:00.006-05:00

March has never been a good month for me. Friends and loved ones pass on in March. I get horrible, life altering diseases in March. Relationships that were intended to be permanent come to a screeching, bloody end in March. This year, I made practically no money playing poker in March. As bad as that sucks, I kind of feel like I got off the hook easy this year.

Losing or break even-months are hopefully going to be uncommon but ultimately inevitable for me. Since this was my first one since making the leap, this is mostly an update on my mental health:

Mostly, its not too bad, considering. A couple days were pretty rough but overall I'm still happier and more hopeful than I've been in several years - and still fairly confident this is going to work out. More importantly, not once last month did I doubt the decision to give this a try. And I'm really far from even considering giving up. I'm very lucky in that my bankroll will support a lot more bad months before I start to get pinched.

So there you have it. I think I've gone through one of the major rites of passage for a new professional poker player. First break-even month. I'm still here and mostly undaunted.

I'm not dead... I promise

2010-04-01T12:42:00.005-05:00

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything and I didn't want y'all to be concerned for my health. Don't worry. I still drink too much... eat too much... and don't sleep or play poker enough. :)

I made it back from Seattle safely and after about a week I started gradually playing poker. I hit a little 5BI upswing over about 2k hands. That was a nice change of pace and I'm happy to be feeling good about my game. During this time I had a new article released in the March issue of Bluff Magazine. Sweet, right?

After that it was my birthday so I spent some time with people and what have you. Also, I was leaving for Seattle a few days after the birthday so I made sure to spend some QT with the friends and family.

Now I'm back in Seattle with the goal of getting the poker thing officially going. I have videos to make, coaching to do, and hands to grind. On top of all that there is this crazy little thing called life that I am going to be doing my best with... so all signs point towards me staying busy.

Diversions...

2010-03-31T23:09:00.001-05:00

So, I kind of hate poker at the moment. Not because I'm really losing, but because there comes a point when you realize that the parameters of the game are pretty simple and the players all start looking the same and the sun is so gorgeous outside but you're stuck inside staring at the blink-blink-blink of the same idiot tanking again in a no-brainer spot wasting the lives of everyone at the table... So let's talk about something that doesn't put me on murder tilt...such as eating (I know...too much food for a poker blog right...well...suck it).

Threads' birthday was this past weekend, which was a welcome respite from our usual weekend schedule of grinding ad infinitum. I happily took the opportunity to spring a couple dishes on the gathering, and I will now share the tastiness with you all (I promise I'll get back to poker soon...just please don't make me yet...pretty please).

Drinks first, because you will have to start this one first if you make the grand trio of recipes that I have presented for you here. I will call it grog even though it has nothing to do with the traditional pirate version. It just makes me feel like it wants to be grog rather than something fruitier as it would appear. So, here you go:

You'll want to get about three to four cups worth of bite-size fruits (think melons, berries, grapes...not so much the bananas that the guys kept insisting would be awesome...I assure you, bananas would be disasterous, but go ahead if you must). Soak the fruit in everclear or vodka or rum. We used 100 proof absolut and it was quite scrumptious. Rum, of course, would add a pretty strong flavor. No no, on spiced rum. Yuck. Let it soak for several hours and then add two bottles of sweet white wine and chill. Grog grogginess. Word of caution: this is some sneaky stuff. Don't let the prettiness fool you.

Next is the best salsa ever. The Salsa of the Gods. I'll even tell you the secrets that send it over the top. I can't remember who gave my family the recipe, but he has earned his place in heaven, and that has to be thanks enough, right?

Okay: 2 medium tomatoes, 1/2 medium yellow onion, 1 can rotel, 1 can stewed Mexican style tomatoes, 3-6 jalapenos, 8-10 cloves of garlic, good handful of cilantro, 1t. garlic powder, 1T. cumin, 3 pinches coriander, 1/2t. salt, 1/4t. pepper. All of this in a food processor and voila. Here are the few things you need to do to bring it the heights of the holy mountain: 1) seed the tomatoes and drain the canned tomatoes to reduce the wateriness of finished product, 2) never (ever ever ever) use white or red onions...believe me, I made the mistake once and almost cried I was so disappointed in the vile, bitter product (not that I cry; hush, you!), 3) seed the jalapenos unless you want some serious heat; there is no wussiness to saying no to the heat and, besides, it gets in the way of eating the exccessive amounts you will want to eat of this stuff, 4) be generous with the cilantro; I usually end up using about half a bunch; but, then, I am obsessive about cilantro, 5) most importantly, fresh grind coriander seed for the coriander; you will not believe the difference it makes.

Finally, is my improvised take on a dip that made me a very fat and happy child with my mom making it as often as I could beg her too (which was just often enough to keep me appeased...and chunktaculur). Again, fair warning: this could destroy your life...and you'll like it.

Start with some chopped up bacon and half a sweet yellow onion (as in the other half unused from the salsa, hint, hint). Around 8 slices of bacon should do it, and I used turkey bacon, not that that helps the overall effect of instant fattening goodness. I just like the taste of turkey bacon. Saute in a cast iron skillet until the onion is softened, then take off the heat and add a can of refried beans, 8oz. sour cream, 4 oz. cream cheese, 1 package of shredded Mexican mix cheese (7oz. I think, and it's just cheddar and Monterrey Jack), 2t. chili powder, 1/2t. cumin, 1/2t. garlic powder, and 1/2c. of the salsa you just made. Mix until smooth and then spread evenly on the bottom of the pan. Now, get this, sprinkle a whole other bag of Mexican cheese on top and throw in a 375 degree oven for about 20 minutes, until it's all melted and bubbly.

Let me tell you, with this trio, you're going to be looking for any dang excuse to party. Better watch yourself.

Cheers,
Jesper

#601; The Discovery that Changed the World

2010-03-24T22:47:00.000-05:00

#601; The Discovery that Changed the World

Just one in a long list of strangely appropriate things we have found. Crunchy Cheeto Theorem. Jacob's hate (now love/hate) relationship with chopsticks. And the fact that we're all geniuses. Creepy.

Progress Report

2010-03-19T16:35:00.006-05:00

So, remember how in my first post I was talking about being on a nice little rush? Well, since we got here around the beginning of February, I've made only $400. I've only put in about 60k hands since then, but holy shit... I was up almost 2 grand towards the end of last month. I am getting destroyed! I've heard of well known established pros breaking even over 200k hands, but I just didn't think it was something I needed to worry about too much. Now, I admit, I started playing badly for about a week towards the beginning of this month. This is pretty common; when the cards are falling in your opponents' favor over and over, you start feeling like everything you're doing is wrong. This can cause you to change your strategy in ways that are obviously bad for your winrate. However, I do seem to have things under control now, as in I'm back on my old game again, which is good. But the beats are still hammering me. Let's just say, I've gotten a lot more practice at quitting my sessions early...

The below video has been my only solace in this shit storm of unluckiness. Yea, I just made up a word.

Tilt Control: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rM6uKVaUowY

Notice the random generation of very distinct phenomes in the middle of his sentences, indicating that he's tripping his balls off. Yea, I got hit with a two-outer twice last session, but at least one of my friends didn't record me while I was hallucinating and post it on YouTube!

Die in a grease fire...

2010-03-19T13:37:00.001-05:00

So, within the last week or so, there has been a heavy influx of what we will kindly refer to as "shortstackers" (but who are in reality the parasitical pirhanas of the poker world) onto Pokerstars. This is because Full Tilt recently essentially banned the practice, and so these souless fiends have gone in search of other feeding grounds. Since Pokerstars still has no policy that keeps this in reasonable check, they have largely chosen to descend here and consume the heart of poker. You may think I am exaggerating. I can assure you I am not. Imagine trying to have a conversation with someone, but instead of the normal rules of logic and interpersonal communication, this person constantly responds with, "No, see, here's a coin; we'll flip it to see who's right." To which you respond, "That's ridiculous and completely illogical." But, no, they already flipped the coin. You lose the argument. What this looks like at the poker table is every decision is reduced to a preflop action because someone is allowed to and chooses to sit on the minimum buy-in. Not just someone, but half of nearly every table available. As a thinking poker player (well, on my good days anyway), I would prefer to be able to use the tools I have worked so hard to develop for postflop play. Instead, my hand is forced over and over to move towards a slot machine mentality, when the whole point of poker is the possibility to rise above the mayhem of gambling. Thank you, you worthless pieces of flesh, for exploiting a nonsense rule to propogate the monumental waste of time that is your life.

Sincerely,
Jesper

P.s. Re: Posting Heading -- Should you be looking for evidence of how beautiful post-flop play can be, check out Episode 8 of 2M2MM...poetic.

Now what...

2010-03-12T21:30:00.001-06:00

You will hopefully excuse me for letting the post traumatic remnants from the military leak out for a bit. I mean, how does one go from the epitome of structure to the lifestyle of an online poker pro? It is embarrassing to admit that I have almost no idea. Then again, I have a pretty good feeling that most people wouldn't. We are groomed to obey the schedules and task requirements of those in authority from a very, very young age. Maybe this is where I can blame my parents for home-schooling me and giving me a prediliction for such non-conformist pursuits (again, military aside). But, like I've said before, I had just had enough experience with the emptiness of most of our institutions and standard lifestyles and was sure I was ready to take self-employment by the horns. A month or so in and I'm still feeling a little lost however. When am I supposed to get up? Do I work out now or am I supposed to be playing some sessions? To shower? To eat? I imagine stay-at-home parents go through quite a bit of this, but at least they have another creature making demands and creating a schedule of sorts. I do have Greta who needs feeding (right now actually, woops), and letting out, and regular playing of ball. But that can only take you so far. Okay, now I'm realizing that it sounds like I'm complaining. I'm definitely not. It's just surprising is all. I did not see myself as someone who would struggle with non-structure. After all, I spent four years fighting every element of my life in the army, so I assumed this would feel like heaven. Which, sometimes, it does. Other times, it's stressful and unproductive (another concept I did not imagine I would be so bothered by). Yeah, I can sleep in whenever I want, but how in the world do I make myself get up without someone making me? Believe me, I am more than willing to figure it out and I will, but it is something to think about before you all (and I know you're thinking about it) quit the job and set up your very own war rooms.

On a slightly different note, I thought I would start sharing one of my serious side pursuits: cooking. You all are going to be the lucky recipients of my first "published" recipes that I have been lavishing on the guys here in Poker House (note the complete lack of humility...ah well). This is just how lucky you are: you're gonna get my favorite one first. How's that for generosity. So, without further ado, my take on a Vietnamese favorite: Bun... in III Acts --

I. Rice noodles -- I like to use the rice sticks in the orange package that you can usually find in the Asian food section at your local Wal-Mart...However, if you have the knack for it, go for the real stuff from real Asian markets. I just can't seem to get those to work for me; they usually end up a slightly sticky jumble of strands that taste like soggy paper (and, yes, I do know what that tastes like). Soften them in a colander with hot water while setting about 3-4 inches of water in a dutch oven to boil with 2T. of olive oil and 1t. of salt. Once the water is boiling, the noodles should be somewhat soft already. Throw em in the water and cook until the noodles do not spring apart when you pull them apart. You want them just past the springy stage. Drain and rinse in cold water and set aside.

II. Chicken -- Purists will say chicken breast is the only way to go, but I will have nothing but thighs for this dish. Moist. Flavorful. Perfect. Heat a cast iron skillet (again -- flavorful and perfect...but you may use any skillet you prefer) with 2-3T. olive oil, salt, coriander, garlic (powder, cloves, or both), fresh ground pepper and basil. Now, the spices are where the art comes in. You should experiment until you find your perfect assembly. I've even had huge success with some yellow curry. Do not be bashful with amounts. Be proud of your spices. Brown the thighs on both side and dice in the pan (if frozen, just cook until you can cut it...if your proactive enough to have fresh, just dice after browning first and getting all those flavors locked in good). Cook thoroughly, but just until done. No dry chicken for us.

III. Assembly -- In two very large bowls (I'm talking mixing bowl big), layer chopped romaine lettuce (we also use Spring salad mix), sliced cucumber and lots of cilantro (can never have enough as far as I'm concerned). You can also throw in fresh jalapenos if you so desire and cashews are tasty as well. Divide the noodles between the bowls and top with chicken. The vinegar sauce that dresses the whole concoction is sriracha sauce, fish sauce and rice vinegar. This is another art form in itself, and you will have to experiment some more for yourself to find out what proportions you like. I, personally, like to make a healthy spiral on top of the chicken with the sriracha, soak the sriracha off with fish sauce, and add just enough rice vinegar to dilute the fish sauce with a bit of tang. Toss and enjoy. And, by the way, ginger ale or a nice wheat beer are perfect accompaniments.

So there you have it, and hopefully more to come. Happy playing and happy eating.

Cheers,
Jesper

Too legit to quit?

2010-03-09T16:24:00.002-06:00

Ya know... I think the break idea was just fantastic. I'm actually starting to get excited about playing poker again. I have spent the past week out of town and that has been really good because it becomes very easy to just not think about poker(living in poker house has it's benefits... but it has it's cons... it is hard to get away from poker as we all love talking about it... but sometimes the mind just needs a breather and taking a trip out of town has afforded me that breather). I still have done a little bit of coaching and what have you, but for the most part poker just has not been part of the equation. I have totally let go of it with the thought that a solution will present itself. I find that often times there becomes a layer of stress and emotion such that we can't find what we are looking for... be they answers or the remote. When you stop and let things settle thing everything becomes clear. The fog is stripped away.

On to pure poker talk...

Since being on this break I have had time to step back and think about potential mistakes that I may be making. I think I have probably have a tendency to play a little bit too unbalanced versus some of the better players at limits. I'm going to do some work to try to add some balance to my strategy versus tougher regs and I think that will show some good results.

On returning to the grind...

I have a lot of areas of my life I kinda wanna get started going the right direction again before I start piling the stress that is the grind back on, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Today is Tuesday and I get back home early Thursday. I think I'll take Thursday and possibly Friday to get settled back in(get laundry done, clean up my room, get drunk, get into a good daily routine) and then I'll get back to the grind being fully rested and really ready to play.

... But for now it's still break time and that means to have a good time and to enjoy each day...

I'll drink to that.

How I got started... (Part II)

2010-03-08T13:33:00.005-06:00

So this is the part where I get disorganized chronologically and tell you some stuff from before the ROTC fiasco. When I was in 4th grade, I started playing clarinet at my school; they had this early musician's program and I got straight into it. Musically, I was very fortunate, having a father who was very much into current music (of many genres) and a lot of good rock from the 70's as well. He played music on his stereo system constantly, and I still have memories of watching MTV (back when it was still awesome and mostly music of course) as early as 4 years old. Anyway, so as soon as I had the opportunity to play music, I was like there before it happened. The funny thing about it was, I was the worst kid in class (the first day I came in with the mouthpiece upside down, so the reed was at the top of my mouth; I actually was trying to play it like that) until about 2 months or so, when I started developing some level of coordination. After that, I started learning how to read music, and by the second half of the year I was asking the teacher for more stuff to practice on, other than just what we did during rehearsal 3 days a week. And besides, that stuff was boring anyway. You see, it wasn't that I was particularly gifted at playing my instrument. I think what happened was that reading music just started making sense to me way before the other students. And I practiced like 3 times as much as anyone else. I was just into it! So much into it, that at the end of the year the teacher suggested that I start playing cornet (it's like a small trumpet). He told me, "you need to get familiar with several instruments before you make a decision on what you want to do with music." I really liked him, probably because he hated me at first, but then later I became one of his favorites. If you ever want someone to really like you, treat them like shit first, then shortly after, if you treat them with even a modest amount of respect, they'll love you! That is if they're still hanging around after you act like an asshole.

Anyway, so I was first chair for the cornet/trumpet (my hands were still really small so trumpet was too difficult, since it's bigger) section after the first half of my 5th grade year (lots of practicing during christmas break). Oddly enough, my parents didn't have very much interest in my musical development. My dad went to our big concert at the end of my 5th grade year. Now, I don't want to paint a picture of him as someone who just didn't care about me; in a lot of ways I think he was extremely overbearing. It's just that his musical tastes were pretty specific, and listening to a bunch of 10 year olds try to play extremely simple classical pieces probably didn't do much for him. After the concert, it was like, "yea, that was pretty good son, but what about your grades?" My grades were bad. The big problem was that the only schoolwork that I was interested in doing at home was practicing the cornet (or fucking around playing "stuff that sounded cool in my head," more on that later). And in Michigan schools at the time (we lived in Farmington Hills near Detroit), if you wanted to pass your classes as a 5th grader, you had to do SOME homework, unless everything was really easy for you and you just did it all in class. Well I wasn't one of those kids, and I wasn't doing any homework. I fucking hated school! I mean, I liked biology and earth science and some of our literary reading assignments, but everything else was just completely boring and painful to get through, including math (which was almost all arithmetic at the time). So I was sort of failing some stuff. As in, I had to cry in front of the whole class at the end of the year to get my teacher to pass me. Yea. So I got in trouble and one of the first things to go was cornet. Music was over for me at that point. On top of that, in my first year of middle school, I was put in a remedial program where all of my teachers had to list all my assignments for each class every day, and my parents had to sign it every night stating that they'd seen it and had me work on them that night. It was embarrassing.

But it did get me back on track academically, which, at this point in my life I feel a little ambivalent about. By high school, I was in all honors classes. I was on my way to maximum institutionalization. My sophomore year, I had dreams of going to MIT to study... I don't know, theoretical physics, or biochemical engineering, something really complicated and, really awesome! Then I took the preliminary SAT. Scored an 1100. In case any of you don't know, you needed like a score near 1500 to even be considered at a school like that. I took the actually SAT the next year, 1170, which put me in like the 80th percentile or some shit. It was a disaster. My dad thought I was just fucking off and not concentrating during the test. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I was terrified during the exam, because I knew full well what the ramifications for a low score were. I knew I had some problems with testing, but I was always told that I was just too nervous and needed to calm down. Actually, this turned out to be a completely false assessment of my problem, but more on that later. I took the test 2 more times, scoring something like an 1130, then 1160. Doomed. I took a $750 SAT course during the summer before my senior year. The deal was, my dad would pay for it all if I scored 100 points higher, and half of it if I scored 50 points higher the next time I took it. I only scored 40 points higher, which was a 1210. I had to pay for the whole thing with money from my job that summer. I mention ALL of this stuff because it was the first time I began to become disillusioned with my plans to become a notable scientist of some kind. It had been pounded in my head, since I was 12 years old, that I should go to college and do something extremely technical and high-skilled so that I could be happy with my life (which involved making lots of money obviously).

Well, now I was between a rock and a hard place. I could go to a less-reputable school. For instance, I DID get accepted to Illinois Tech and Boston University, which are both pretty decent schools. But schools like that costed upwards of 25k per year to attend as a freshman at the time. I had applied for Air Force, Navy, and Army ROTC scholarships, but my SAT scores were killing my application, and despite all the work I'd done in JROTC, a lot of it was irrelevant apparently, because they mostly wanted to see that you were in some well-recognized and physically intense varsity sport. Financial aid? My dad and his wife were grossing well over 100k per year. I was totally ineligible, and ironically, after all the pressure that my dad put on me to go to school, he wasn't able to help me pay for anything. He was living beyond his means and was in a lot of debt. So I was, well, pretty much fucked if I couldn't get a scholarship. For some reason I was convinced I couldn't for a while, which was entirely untrue. However, because I WAS convinced that I couldn't get a good enough scholarship to go to a college where I could study the more advanced subjects that I liked (or thought I'd like), I sort of gave up. I was pissed, man! I fuckin' busted my ass for 4 years in high school, in class and on my extra curricular activities. This included JROTC, Orienteering and Rifle Team (shooting, not that twirly, tossing guns around bullshit), which I went to two national championships and practiced intensely for. None of it mattered, because that SAT score was blaring, "hey, this guy's brain is a dime a dozen." So the last month of the summer before my senior year (after I'd gotten my 4th SAT test score), I kinda started feeling like I should do whatever the hell I wanted to do. This included getting into the orchestra with my friend Aaron (who played cello); he talked the director into letting me borrow a shitty viola to start practicing on during the summer, then MAYBE I could make it into the B orchestra (which Aaron assured me I would probably be able to do, because, "they really sucked").

See, I'd started fucking around with a program called Cakewalk on my computer. Cakewalk lets you write music in standard musical notation. It pretty much does everything for you, all you have to do is click the right spots on the staff and choose the correct note duration, and it structures it all for you (writes in the rests, puts the notes in the right position in each measure). Anyway, I was fucking around and showing a lot of this to my friend Aaron, and he was like, damn dude, how did you learn how to do that if you don't even play an instrument? It wasn't that the stuff I was writing was particularly entertaining, it was just that I was writing coherent, somewhat complex stuff, which was surprising, especially to me. So we were on a mission to get me into the orchestra. My dad, however, sensing a shift in my attitude about life in general, especially towards his authority, was totally against it. Eventually, before the semester even started, he had finally come up with a reason (or, really, an excuse) to directly "outlaw" my practicing viola in "his house". The reason was, "if somebody accidently breaks that viola, I'm gonna have to pay for it. You have a 4 year old brother running around here." I explained that, hello, I have a job, I can pay for it, and it was only worth about 200 bucks at the most in the condition it was in. However, I was still paying him back for the SAT course. Plus, it didn't matter what I said anyway. He was a fucking asshole back then.

What eventually ended up happening with my college career was this: I planned not to go basically, until about March of my senior year. The rejection letters on my ROTC scholarship applications rolled in, one after another during around christmas time, which was to be expected at that point. I spoke with some Navy and Air Force recruiters, and had decided by March that I was going to enlist. I'd already taken the Air Force ASVAB and scored in the 95th percentile (which was a nice ego boost), and the recruiters were really on my case after that. So I talked to my JROTC head instructer, Ret. Major Coatney, about how to make sure I got the job I really wanted. Much to my surprise, he was deeply appalled. "Bunch, why are you enlisting? What happened to the ROTC scholarships?" I told him, "My fucking SAT scores, sir. I averaged like an 1170." He was like, "So, what about everything you've done in this program? What about Rifle Team?" I told him, "Hey, it's not really a varsity sport. They want football, basketball, baseball, track, tennis players. They could give a shit if I can fire an air rifle and hit the center of a quarter over and over from 33 feet away, sir." So he took me on a field trip with a school bus full of other JROTC students to a school in Nacogdoches, Texas (our high school was near Dallas), called Stephen F. Austin State University. This was a school that was well known for its reputation as a big party college. Not my idea of a great university experience, but hey, he got me an interview set up with the battalion commander of the Army ROTC program on campus, and I pretty much had to go. The commander liked me, enough, anyway. Thought I was squared away, and liked all the stuff in the academics packet I'd brought. Basically, he got me a 3 year campus-based ROTC scholarship that would start my sophomore year, and in the meantime, the school would pay for my room. Pretty sweet deal.

Anyway, back to the music stuff. So my dad had a lot of control over what I did in the house, but he couldn't stop me from writing stuff on Cakewalk. All through college too. I wasn't making "progress" really, I just kept fucking around. Eventually I started using another program that a buddy lent to me called Fruity Loops. Then, another buddy of mine, Adam, who had heard a lot of my stuff, bought me a guitar at a garage sale. He showed me how to tune it and wrote down some scales in tablature form. I hardly practiced the scales at all, but once my callouses grew in, I was fucking around like an hour or more, everyday. I'm not really sure how to explain what I was doing, but I can offer some examples of where it led to, http://www.myspace.com/regengt
The whole guitar thing started happening about 5 months before I quit ROTC. The reaction that I got from my friends when I eventually started improvising with them on guitar made me really think about my life. What was I really supposed to have done with myself? Why am I spending 50+ hours a week struggling to perform at a barely satisfactory level in my physics classes when writing music was so much more interesting?

Alright, so I guess there's gonna be a part three. Thanks for reading this though if you've made it this far! Hopefully the theme is becoming a little more apparent, but if not it should be by the end of part three.

Movin' on up......almost

2010-03-07T03:14:00.003-06:00

February 24th was the biggest losing day at poker I've had in my entire life - nailed for $450. Doesn't sound like all that much, but at 50NL that's 9 whole buy-ins. And yet...it didn't hurt much. February was good to me. Really good. Over the whole month I beat the 50NL by a ridiculous 13 BB/100 (that's big blinds per 100 hands). To put that in perspective, 5 BB/100 is considered very good at nearly any stakes. At the end of January, my overall was measly 3 BB / 100 (which included about 50k hands played before I really thought I was going to drop out of law school - and yes I was four-tabling all through most of Civ-Pro and Torts). I had previously thought that 10 BB / 100 was pretty close to the upper limit at 50 NL online. So 13 BB for an entire month made me a pretty happy camper.

The plan then, was to start moving up to 100NL this week. Well, moving up is something to do when upswinging - when confidence is high and tilt is looming in the shadows rather than jumping out of them and smacking you in the face. Well, Tuesday I got crushed (I've been taking Mondays off). Wednesday I got crushed. Thursday......well you get the idea. The point is I'm not touching the 100NL until I've got my confidence back - and not a moment sooner or later.

In a way, this week made me realize how important it is to get up to the 100NL. I made good money in February, but that was a month with no real downswings. Those are not normal. The only way for me to make that kind of money consistently at 50NL is to play about twice as many hands as I did - something I'm not really willing to do.

And...it is a big jump. 100NL is a tougher game than any I've played in my life. Frankly, I'm a bit nervous about it. I've sat at 200NL live games of course, but any solid player can beat those without really even trying. 100NL online - well if I'm not at my best I will get eaten alive.

Fortunately, I live with three other poker players - two of whom have beaten that level soundly and all of whom have been more than generous with their wisdom. This week was a setback, but it's only a matter of time.

Crack House: Public Safety Announcement

2010-03-06T23:24:00.000-06:00

Funny story: when we all moved in, we were pretty sure that all the neighbors would think we were drug dealers. I mean, four 20-somethings that only seem to go out at night and not much at that. But then, no one really comes here either, so if there were any concerns (not that we ever saw any evidence of neighbors being actively concerned), it's probably subsided into passive curiosity at most. Of course, I'm not sure they would be terribly relieved knowing that we were poker players instead, but such is life and weird stigmas.

But that's not what I really want to talk about. The problem, my friends, is caffeine. All of us here in Poker House have reached the middle-aged feeling of resignation that we will never be free of the substance, but still have the youthful idealism that it can and should be defeated. What doesn't help the situation is that today was a coincidence of the first coffee consumption in over a week and the first unilaterally winning day we have logged since "quitting". I mean, the stuff is bad enough in itself; does it really need monetary evidence to support its cause? Now, most people will laugh at me even mentioning this as a problem. Caffeine is so integrated into most people's daily lives that it isn't even generally regarded as a drug. It may not be heroin, but it is still an unnecessary factor that creates dependence, yes? I mean, have you tried to quit lately? And, if so, did you notice the complete loss of interest in life and the raging headache that made you want to put your head through a wall? I've heard stories of people off caffeine for six months still not having a good time of it. I would love to say that all of this has strengthened my resolve to never ever allow myself the splendors of Cinnamon dulce Lattes or the completely unredemptive magic of Coke...but I'm guessing that by next Saturday, I will find some reason to reward or console myself with a cup of inspiration. And I certainly won't be alone, will I.

P.s. In my last post, I forgot to mention ...

The Shed. Hula Hoop warehouse (Seriously. Everything cleaned out by the previous tenants except a buttload of hula hoops.) Oh, and our mudpit of a yard. Ideas for saving it this spring?

Poker House

2010-02-28T18:20:00.002-06:00

I have finally figured out (after two weeks living here) that Poker House is in downtown Prairieton. Here is the Prairieton post office, which is twenty yards from our front door...and considering that we have no mail box ...

(although we can apparently receive the paper...what a relief), this is a very, very good thing.

Across the street is the Prairieton School...

The sign says it. The playground proves it. But...

Maybe a memorial to the Prairieton School District? I've been running through the neighborhood for two weeks and have yet to see anything that resembles a building that could be called a school. And, no kids. Sorry, I digest. Anyway, where were we...

Welcome to the War Room...

... in all its glorious, middle-of-the-weekend, must-keep-playing clutter.

We have plans to buy a large world map to put on the wall in here to spitefully keep track of the players whose souls we own. Whatever country gets the most pins (outside of the U.S.) gets some serious consideration for our hopeful move out of the states.

When not working...

...this is generally where you can find us. Meet Superchimp, Baccy, and the house mascot, Greta. Everything you could want or need in a living room, except we're a bit scared to try the fireplace considering the general mayhem that is the structure of this house. Maybe some luxuries are better not tested.

Then there's the Music Room where we go to release tilt and get in touch with our sensitive sides...

Or not so senstive. Threads' stack of death.

Then we have the dungeon...

...where bad poker players go when they die.

And while we're on the subject of sinister...

...try peeing with this staring you down. *shudder*

On that note, I leave you with your moment of zen...

How I got started... (Part I)

2010-02-28T16:39:00.006-06:00

In my last post, I promised that I would explain why I decided to pursue poker. There were a few precipitating factors, but one major theme stands out among all others. I'll try to explain this as succinctly as I can, but it could take a few posts.
As a relatively intelligent, academically-inclined and scientifically-minded individual, the most obvious career path for me involved heavy institutional training. My first choice, which was influenced mostly by my father's advice, was to pursue a science degree with an ROTC scholarship (and subsequently 4 years of service as an officer in the military). By the time the 9/11 attacks occured, I was a junior in the Army ROTC program at a state school in East Texas. I was confused by our whole approach to finding this "Bin Laden" character, apparently involving a large and inordinately delayed troop deployment. Did capturing a terrorist leader in a technologically underdeveloped country really require opening a full-blown war theatre with troops that are trained to conduct conventional warfare (meaning, shooting and blowing shit up, which is the only thing that the military was designed to do at the time, and rightly so)? This was a legitimate question that most of the active duty commissioned officers running the ROTC program at my school could never answer sufficiently (either because they were aggravated by my inquisitive temperament, and/or because they honestly didn't know), and suprisingly, an issue that seemed of little consequence to my fellow cadets. Eventually, I attempted to break my commissioning contract during the Spring following 9/11, but one of the officers convinced me that I was merely having problems with the bureaucratic elements of the military, and that I just needed to get into ranger school and think about moving into special forces, where this would be less of an issue. But over a year later, after we were well into the Iraq invasion, I found myself unable to cope with the military decisions that were being made by our government. I broke my contract assuming that I would most likely have to serve 4 years in the Army anyway as an enlisted soldier (that meant starting out as a private as far as I knew). Most of my family members and a few of my friends thought this was idiotic; since I would have to serve anyway, why not just "honor" my contract and serve as an officer instead of going through the military as a lowly enlisted soldier? Wouldn't that be easier as a lieutenant? And the answer for me was, no, because personally I felt I would share more responsibility as an officer than as a private for the ill-conceived and ill-motivated plans of the American government and the financial powers-that-be. At least as a private, I could say, "Hey, I tried my best to get out, and at least now I don't have to lead people towards a goal that I don't believe in."
Well, fortunatelyfor me, my battalion commander decided that he wanted me to write a letter to the regional commander explaining why I was choosing to break my commissioning contract. From my perspective, this was an attempt by our newly-appointed battalion commander, Col. Pike, to cover his ass, since, in his first 6 months of command at our unit, he had already removed several cadets from the program for relatively insignificant indiscretions (ironically, one cadet I knew was kicked out for getting caught "drinking underage"; responsible enough to carry gun-powered weaponry and receive training for managing military personnel, but apparently not responsible enough to have a drink at a party...). So he's kicked out several cadets, some of which were removed before ROTC training resumed in the Fall (he arrived at the unit around June or so), and now he's got this soon-to-be butter bar (this is just a less than endearing term for a second-lieutenant) who's trying to break his contract. By this point, I was still in the process of finishing up my physics curriculum, but had effectively completed the ROTC program, pending my college graduation; my first two years of college, I was a computer science major, so when I changed degree plans, I fell a bit behind on the 4-year college graduation thing. This Col. Pike guy told me that not only would they most likely force me to serve as enlisted, given the fact that I "obviously" waited to quit until I had taken advantage of all the scholarship and monthly stipend funding available under my contract, but that he would also personally request that I be involuntarily enlisted AND be held responsible for paying back all of my scholarship tuition in full. He assured me that I was going to spend the next several years of my life paying for my mistake. So I wrote a letter to the ROTC regional commander for this fucker at the end of November. By March of the next year, I recieved a letter stating that I wouldn't be required to serve an enlisted contract (whew! especially since Jesper and I had just met, and I had a new reason to stick around in Nacogdoches), and that I would only need to pay back my tuition to DFAS. Thank god for imperceptive sociopaths who can't think through their malevolent prick-headed deeds. Being asked to write that letter pretty much saved my ass.
I'll try to post again tomorrow and hopefully I can wrap up this topic.

Burn Out! Hitting the Reset Button

2010-02-27T12:39:00.000-06:00

Well, the struggles of this month have continued for me. I just had about a 14BI downswing over about 10k hands. It was a pretty steep fall and I can tell you that it hurt like hell.

Of course, I've been there before. Every poker player has. There really isn't anything special about stuff like that happening. If having this bad ass thumb that is hitting my space bar makes you a human, then downswinging makes you a poker player. However, there is a sense of entitlement that I've developed. I feel that I deserve to win. I've worked really hard to get good at the game and I feel like automatic winning should be my reward moving forward. Obviously, this is not right thinking.

The problem now is that I have let things spiral out of control to where I have to take some serious time off from playing in order for the reset button to be pushed.

I allowed myself to have thoughts that I knew would eventually lead to me having issues with tilt.

I allowed myself to say things that I knew would lead to me having issues with tilt.

I allowed myself to stop proactively doing things that would decrease my tilt issues.

I allowed myself to play when I wasn't on my A-game, which is, in and of itself, tilt.

(Now, let's be clear, my tilt generally isn't crazy-monkey-I'm gonna spew a stack into this pot-FML sort of tilt. I just tend to be focusing on results and thus not playing my A-game.)

So I've decided to take a hiatus from playing poker. I'm not sure at this point in time whether I will extend that hiatus to coaching and doing videos or not. My first impulse was to not touch poker with a 10-foot rod, but now I think it may be fine to just focus on other areas like blogging, coaching, and doing videos for a little bit. I think I just need to get to the point where I feel like playing poker again. I honestly don't feel like playing at this point in time. I will play it by ear and see if I feel like coaching/doing videos. If I don't feel like doing it then I am going to clear some time out to just hit that reset button.

I wish like hell I had not ignored all the warning signs and just taken some time off and refocused. It would have been much easier to do that then than to do it now. Poker is a tough game and your mind can only take so much. You can condition your mind and be able to play more and more as time goes by, but you have to recognize when enough is enough and to then let it rest.

The Crunchy Cheeto Theorem

2010-02-22T10:26:00.004-06:00

As tankers mentioned, this week has been slightly less than stellar...

...

HA! Good one!

Let's be frank. It sucked hairy man-balls. Personally I hit a -13BI-ish downswing in the range of like...6k hands. It was a rather steep fall from grace.

"Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name (woo hoo)".

I find that when you are upswinging or downswings you usually aren't playing your best. Sure, both often have a large influence from Lady Luck, but often the mere fact that they are happening causes you to not play your best(and subsequently affects your win-rate, which affects your swings, which affects your play, which affects your win-rate, which..... you get the point).

Let's say you are on an upswing. It's pretty human nature to get a bit of an ego about it.

"I rule. I can just beat these games without an troubles at all"

"I can do this crazy move. I'm threads13 dammit!"

Of course, being human is no excuse to act like one. :) The ultimate result is you change your strategy for the worse.

On the flip side of the coin is the downswing.

"I fail. I fail at life. I fail at everything I try. Please hand me my beer."

"Any move I choose at the poker table will be wrong. I'll just do this random thing differently without any thought whatsoever as to why I'm changing it."

Is there anything good that can come from this? I think so. A downswing always makes me reevaluate and reset my mind. I have a tendency, and most people probably do this, to ebb and flow with doing the right thing. Let's use diet as an obvious example. You star the diet off on Day 1 strong. You eat only great food and you are feeling like a sexy beast. This usually goes on for some random period of time that varies from person to person and then you add in a little bad. Maybe you eat some ice cream. Then the next day you add in some pizza. Then the next thing you know you are sitting with a beer in one hand and a bag of Crunchy Cheetos in another. Once you have the Cheetos in your hand you realize that you've gradually taken a turn for the worse and you need to reset. I dub thee "The Crunchy Cheeto Theorem"

We learn from our mistakes. Falling down is inevitable, Neo, and the only thing we can do is control how hard we mentally fall and far down we go. Playing bad is part of poker. Making mistakes is part of life. Learning from it all and not repeating them is the only thing we have control over.

Crunchy Cheeto Theorem

True Story.

Flushed down the river...

2010-02-21T23:10:00.000-06:00

After my nemesis drew to, and hit, the third most unlikely flush in a row on me, taking my stack along with it, I had to admit that this week had not been a good one in Poker House. Threads started the tumble at the beginning of the week, through no fault of his own that any of us could find. Then came Superchimp with a hiccupping sort of spiral that looked about to turn around on Thursday but then plummeted forcefully down the other side. I didn't think that I could do much damage at my stakes and was, in fact, doing quite well before today. Then the cards and the "chasers" (players who will draw to anything no matter what you tell them you have) conspired to throw me down in the muck as well. Only one of us escaped the mayhem, and he is thankfully crushing it. Now, it's bad enough when you are watching your stack populating and repopulating everyone else's while playing alone, but having three out of four poker players living and playing together going through poker hell at the same time...I'm just happy that the war room even survived. Nothing broken. Only bits of clutter starting to collect as the general apathy and despondency set in the last couple days. But that is what Mondays are for right? Cleaning. Purging. Certainly not playing poker. Just soundly abusing all the losers that raped and pillaged our hard-earned bankrolls.

This brings up an interesting issue: how does one cope with losing in spite of good play? Poker players refer to the nearly universal resulting rampant rage as "tilt". Cursing the poker gods. Fate. Hating life. Poker is a lifestyle that will necessarily include the statistical plunges when the large percentages of equity on the first three cards turn into zero by the fifth. As such, there are countless videos, books, and postings on every poker website out there about how to become "tiltless". I cannot add much to such a wealth, but I can say how I am learning and striving to deal with it. First and foremost is pre-emption. The more in shape your mind and body are, the easier it is to deal with all the crap that is beyond your control. You remember to stay detached from the cards and just roll with the situation as it unfolds. And when it unfolds badly, you are hopefully able to look at the series of actions and the information available and judge the quality of your play. Of course, when you finally get the "mark" (a generally stupendously bad player that has been dying to give you his money) to put all his stack in with you before the community cards even come out and you're sitting on an 80% chance of taking it all and he hits his miracle(s)...well, let's just say that pre-emption is often not enough in and of itself. So, you're sitting there trying to figure out if there's any way you can hack the poker site to find out just who this fool is and go to his house and let him know exactly what you think of what he just did...and then you force yourself to draw in one, long ragged breath and slowly let it out. This hopefully stops the red rage from clouding everything and you hopefully make the decision to take another long, slow breath. Now, if you're me, you find that you still want to break something even after all this lovely breathing in and out. When this happens, you have to stop. You sit out all your tables, and you go for a run. Or do some pushups. Or play a videogame where you get to smash everything you want. Maybe all of the above. You grab one or all of your housemates and show them how badly these idiot poker players abused you. And then, you start working on the pre-emptive process all over again.

There is no end to this process obviously. It is like any practice of the mind and body: every day is a new opportunity to approach perfection. It won't ever be quite there, and it certainly has not been even close the last couple days. So, tomorrow the practice continues and tonight the steam is finally and thankfully dissipating.

Cheers,
Jess (aka hopefleur; aaka tankers)

The nature of the beast.

2010-02-15T16:15:00.003-06:00

Wow, a flurry of posts here. Ok, so I was thinking about posting some specific hands. There are, however, plenty of well-read forums for that sort of thing. I don't know what the others are planning but later on I probably will post some hands here. For the moment I think it would be more illuminating to talk a little bit about online poker in general.

If you've ever played poker at a live casino you probably played $1/$2 no-limit hold'em ($200 NL). That means the big blind is 2 bucks, small blind is a dollar, and the maximum buy-in is usually between $200 and $300. A fairly typical hand looks like this:

The first player limps for $2 and a couple guys fold. Somebody raises the pot to $12 and another player, along with one of the blinds and the original limper, call the bet to see the flop. The flop is dealt (we'll not worry about what cards it brings). It's checked to the original raiser who bets $15 into the roughly $45 pot (a few bucks have been dropped for rake at this point). Two players folds and the other calls to see the turn. Again it's checked to the original raiser, who again bets $15, this time into a pot of $70. His opponent calls again. On the river the original raiser yet again bets $15 and his opponent calls. The original raiser flips over his hand and his opponent looks twice at his cards before throwing them in the muck. The final pot is about $100.

Now let's look at a fairly typical $0.25/$0.50 ($50 NL) online hand:

Everyone folds to the button (the last player to act before the blinds) who raises to $1.50. Both blinds fold and the button picks up the blinds worth a total of $0.75.

In short, online games are much tighter and more aggressive than your typical casino or home game. Even at so-called micro stakes like $25 or $50 NL the player pool consists of relatively skilled and experienced players - even some professionals. Blind stealing, re-stealing, bluffing and semi-bluffing -among other things -are important parts of any winning player's strategy. If somebody sits down and starts playing like a typical live player (limping in to see flops, betting much less than the pot, calling a lot of bets, etc.), well she sticks out like a sore thumb. At one point in the movie Rounders Matt Damon's character says something to the effect of, "If you can't spot the sucker during your first half-hour at the table, you are the sucker." The truth is, in an online game, if a sucker sits down everyone else knows it after two or three hands.

So why, you might ask, would poker professionals choose to play online instead of live? Well there are a lot of reasons. (I'm a gonna make a list 'cause I'm a too lazy to write this into a coherent paragraph).

1. Convenience. Most parts of the country do not have live card rooms within driving distance.
2. The rake. Live card rooms typically rake 10% of the pot and you usually tip the dealer when you win one. Online poker rooms have less overhead and more tables, so they can afford to rake the pot much less (typically about 5%). And of course here is no dealer to tip. Therefore to have the same win-rate online, you don't need to outplay your opponents by the same margin.
3. Multi-tabling. This is the big one. More tables mean more hands, and more hands mean more profit. Most if not all online pros play several tables at the same time. In this household, I'd guess that most of us average 8-12. I know of several players who do 24 at the same time. In a typical hour I play over 300 hands. Contrast that with a typical live game where I would guess 30 hands an hour is normal.

So I think that pretty much sums up my thoughts on the subject. Peace and goodwill to you and yours.

eeeeeeeeeee

Coming down off a rocket

2010-02-14T23:35:00.005-06:00

Well, I finally did it guys. Here's my first post. The month's been better to me than it will normally be, as I am running well ahead of my expected earnings for the amount I've played thus far, which is a wopping.... wait for it, wait for it.... 30 hours this month. I mean, I didn't have time to play through most of the first week, but I was hoping to have a good 40-50 hours by now. Anyway, it's not really about the hours, it's more about the hands. In order for us to be super comfortable (as in less risk of losing all of our bankroll than being inside a house and getting struck directly by lightning during a storm), I need to get in 60k hands a month. I have 13k so far. That's not gonna cut it. At least not until Jesper starts beating the 50NL (which is the .25/.50 blinds game where the max buy-in is 50 dollars). Right now she is beating the 25NL, which is good because it's pretty hard for a beginning serious player to beat on a regular basis. And to be honest I thought she'd have a few more problems than what she is having now.
The swings in NL are brutal, particularly when you have to survive on your winnings. Most of the time when you get allin for your whole buyin against another player, you're hoping to be between a 65% and 75% favorite. Those aren't the only times I get my money in either, and what's worse is sometimes against some of the better players, I have to stick 75 dollars in to exploit an edge worth only a junior bacon cheeseburger. That's where a good chunk of the variance comes in. Still, even without those moments, all the times that your opponent wins after getting in with a 30% chance to scoop the pot, those can start running back to back pretty easily.
This month is the first time we have had to depend on our bankroll to live on, and I thought it would be fucking with Jesper more. I personally know that we're practically never busting out. I've used Kelly's formula on my winrate, bankroll and monthly expenditures several times by now and know how to apply it to Risk-of-Ruin investment scenarios. But she's not that familiar with it, at least not right now. Apparently she trusts my mathematical understanding though, because she's developing steadily and learning to really exploit players and use adaptive, player-tailored strategies. She's not complaining much about the bad hands. And she knows when she's right, even when the results end up being not in her favor.
I had been planning to devote most of my efforts to trying to move myself up from the 100NL to the 200, but at this point it seems pretty obvious that spending more time helping her move up to the 100NL will be a lot more fruitful. For one, I think it can be done a little more quickly. Even if it took the same amount of time, her winnings at the 100NL will nearly double our earnings. There is absolutely no way that can be true of my earnings if I move to the 200NL. Best case scenario, I'll win maybe 50% more up at the 200NL. The play is tougher and I'll be basically paying tuition (tuition is just a portion of your potential winrate which you lose as you learn to beat tougher players) pretty heavily for months. On the other hand, heavy tuition for Jesper, I can honestly say, will probably only take maybe 2 months tops to pay for at the 100NL. I think she'll be taking some shots for us by May. That is a bit faster than I envisioned being comfortably moved up to the 200NL. So for now I'll just keep us cruising by crushing the 100NL and let us grow at a bit slower but much more stable rate for the next 3 months or so. In the long run, this is definitely the play to maximize profits; besides, I really wouldn't expect to make a whole lot more by playing a lot of 200NL tables before May. Who knows, we could both be at the 200NL by December. Then we wave bye-bye to my student loans, and our wallets will belong mostly to us again.

Despite the fact that I'm running amazingly hot with the cards this month, I'm experiencing a short-term deficit in my playing ability: I quit caffeine. Again. No seriously this time. I'm still having some irritability issues ("This guy just tried to bluff me!") since I quit last tuesday (strange how the withdrawal effects seem to last longer and longer every time I quit). Also, I can't play as many tables as I'm used to. I can usually deal with 12-16 tables up for an hour or so, but lately I've only felt comfortable with 10. This is okay, but it means that I'll either have to learn how to play more tables again, without caffeine, and/or I'll have to play more hours. Right now I'll just have to put in 6-8 hours everyday until I can get the multi-tasking skills back. I don't mind working the same hours as the rest of the world for a month or two. However, I'm not gonna put up with 8 hour grinds 5 days a week for the rest of my life. Six hours at the tables is plenty, and when you're playing 10-15 tables it's actually a little tougher than most mentally-taxing jobs that you work for 8 or more hours. The bottom line is, when I spend 1-2 hours away from the table everyday taking notes on opponents and working on my game, that's gotta be enough altogether. I do NOT want poker to be my whole world, otherwise it defeats it's own purpose in my life.
More on that in the next post.

The Struggles of Working Together

2010-02-14T23:02:00.002-06:00

It isn't necessarily all peas and carrots when four people are all playing a high stress game in the same room.

Dude 1: "This motherfucker just tried to bluff me!"

Dude 2: "Did you call?"

Dude 1: "Fuck yeah I did!"

There are a ton of perks to all us living and working in the same area. Of course, nothing is ever perfect. There are also distractions and it is easy to allow yourself to create distractions yourself.

Me: "Oh look at what this dude just called down with!!!"

At this point in time not only have I distracted everyone else in the room, but I've also distracted myself. There are more hands coming and going and each one of them is not getting my undivided attention. I'm on tilt. I'm certainly missing a few (at least a few) plays. I'm not accurately assigning ranges as well as I could be if I were totally focused thus my win-rate has temporarily dropped.

The first week in the house was definitely a feeling out period. We all had to figure out exactly what we have to do to make things fly. It's not as simple as "Oh, let's just get in the room and grind". I know that I personally have new skills I have to develop. I have to learn to shut my mouth. I have to learn to focus more intensely and use my refocus routine more religiously. I can't go banging shit around because that is going to affect everyone else's earn. I can't get overly excited about a hand. It's easier to get more excited when in a group because you want to show your friends what neat thing you did. That can wait. There will be time for that later. All there is now is this hand... this moment.

I do believe that the end result of figuring this out will lead to a higher overall win. There's not a doubt in my mind about that. I do have to work on some new skills now, but I will be a stronger player for it in the end.

Defending your hand...

2010-02-08T18:36:00.000-06:00

We may only be a few days into this venture, but it seems pretty clear already that this is going to be a great situation for all of us. We are all getting along fabulously (besides the minor expected disputes over the superbowl yesterday of course). The house is so large that we are certain to lose some percentage of our belongings in the countless cubbie holes everywhere in the intricacies that used to be standard in homes. Every day, we spend upwards of an hour or two studying each other's hands or doing sweat sessions (one person in the "hot seat" and the other three watching and critiquing and offering advice). It is probably easiest to tell the advantage of all this in a game such as mine that has only room to improve, but it seems like all of us are thriving on the healthy peer pressure. The hours are full but extremely rewarding.

Perhaps these next thoughts are also telling of someone new to the game, but I imagine that anyone who approaches poker as a career must (or at least should) wrestle with the implications of the lifestyle and career. Probably the easiest concern for me to deal with personally, but which has proven extremely difficult to explain to friends and family, is the idea that poker is just gambling. The details of game theory are certainly too cumbersome for this venue, but there is overwhelming anecdotal and mathematical proof that this is a game that can be beaten. It requires constant vigilance in studying the mistakes of opponents and the equity of each situation, but it definitely can be done.

Beyond this, there is the general discomfort with the idea of trying to exploit the weaknesses of other human beings. From the perspective of my computer screen, I see this represented as a series of statistics detailing the mathematical weaknesses of opponents who I know nothing more about than their screen name and whatever picture they choose to represent themselves. It is terribly easy to forget that there is a human behind each digital profile, with only sporadic and generally unhelpful rants that pop up in the chat box between two players in dispute (this is almost universally true of the chat in online poker by the way). Most online poker players have the exacerbating quality of being in a socially isolated setting as they play and perhaps even when they are away from their computers. Online poker players are traditionally a fairly antisocial group, either by choice, habit, or necessity. For all of these reasons, I find myself comforted and thrilled to be in a poker community of sorts in which I am constantly reminded of the "human factor".

Furthermore, I am coming from several institutional situations that give me a different perspective about the general exploitive nature of poker. First of all, there is no confusion among the people who come to the table and put their money on the line. The one and only purpose of the game is to attempt to take each other's money and that is known by absolutely every player, regardless of skill level. On the other hand, nearly every economic experience I have had in this society has been carefully shrouded to give the appearance of fairness and equity when it is always attempts to get maximum profit. This is true whether you are buying a car, renting an apartment, getting an education, or laboring for an institution. The transparency of poker is simply refreshing. There is no product or consumer. There are only rivals competing in a virtually unbiased system. The rules are simple and the tools are available to anyone that cares to reach for them. Now, I understand that there is a small portion of this population plagued by addiction, and though this is troublesome, it is rare as far as I can tell. The majority of people that I encounter play for the enjoyment of the game and could care less if they lose the fifty dollars they put online for a weekend of play. Perhaps I will find the need to return to this concern as I reach higher stakes, but I am content for now to hone my competetive edge knowing that each of my opponents has the same opportunity and perogative.

Finally, it seems to me that all of us would take the opportunity to claim personal freedom if it was presented as a possibility. It is pretty universally true that people only work so that they may afford a certain way of life and support the basic necessities of self and family. At the end of a lifetime of this, a lucky portion of the workforce is finally able to retire and perhaps pursue personal interests that have been on the backburner for decades (if health and means allow). There is often nothing noble about the work itself (though anything may be done nobly of course), but choosing not to participate in this normal way of life is seen as highly suspect. Generally, the jobless by choice are degenerates and possibly even criminals. As such, I will not take offense to the general response I have received of suspicion when I say what we are choosing to do for a living. That said, I also find no need to apologize for choosing to take the opportunity to live now as I use intellectual skills to earn money in a non-traditional way. I have given more than enough of my time and energy to a system that has given so very little in return, and I have no guilt in walking away from that system. In this lifestyle, I am allowed to explore creative pursuits with the flexibility it affords. I may also choose the best ways I may give back to my community as I will no longer be seeking anything in return for time or investment. These are the ideals that are very real and that make the stigma I find attached to poker easy to accept.

Hopefully, these thoughts might find use for someone other than just my own clarification. I have presented probably an oversimplified rendition of the complexity that is self-employment and the fantastically challenging game of poker, but have tried to address the most common problems I have encountered as we have begun this career.

Cheers,
Jess

2010-02-07T00:07:00.002-06:00

I'm not the first guy to drop out of law school to pursue a poker career. Matt Damon did it. So did a relatively well-known blogger called LSD (law-school-dropout). I might, however, be the most foolhardy. I'd say I've been a slightly more than marginal winner at small stakes games like 25 and 50NL for several years. Good, but hardly enough for most folks to justify such a move. Well I was pretty much hating life in law school - and steadily putting in more hands each month as my interest in the law waned. When the chance to be a "hammered quad" came up over winter break - well, there was just no way I was going back for more hell. So there, I done justified it.

In any case we've all been in the house now for a few days and finally getting some grinding done. It's a great setup and we're all feeling pretty good about our respective games taking off in the coming months. It already seems clear that having a house-full of poker players is extremely beneficial - of course that is especially true for the relative novices like myself. Here's hoping this is the starting point of lifelong poker adventures.

The first day of the lease

2010-02-01T18:57:00.005-06:00

Today was the first day of the lease on the new place. I began the day by meeting with the lady from the real estate company to get the keys, hand her two months worth of rent (because since we are just(nested parenthesis: welcome to the Midwest!) online poker players, and thus can't prove our incomes in conventional ways, landlords are always skeptical about our ability to pay the rent), and meet up with the people who are going to turn on our water, electricity, gas, and cable. Also, once I got the water turned on the real estate company was gong to send out people to de-winterize the place. After that the plan was to spend the rest of the day cleaning the place up a little. Carpet cleaning... sweep and mop... the usual. Sounds easy? Think again.

The idea was just to schedule them all for today and get them all set up. Unfortunately, the house has been winterized so the pipes are all cold and what have you. So, since the heat wasn't turned on, the water couldn't be turned on... and since the water couldn't be turned on the place couldn't be de-winterized. Now that has all been pushed back to tomorrow when I'm going to be running all over the heartland of America to get my stuff that is stored in random spots in one truck and unload said truck. So, it's going to be an obstacle to make sure that somebody is at the place to let people in for me tomorrow. Also, the cable dude comes out and says he has to drill holes to install the cable and since I didn't have written consent from my landlord that he could do that we had to reschedule that for a few days down the road. We all are planning on moving in over this time so hopefully we will be occupied enough with moving in that our lack of cable won't become an issue. During this time Tom and Jess call to let me know that A) they are bringing a dog (yay puppy) and B) their car is having issues(nay troubles). Woo! Eventful!

Moving right along...

My mom and I brought some water over from her place and used that to put in the carpet cleaner. So the carpets did get cleaned!

Good guys: 2

Bad guys: 3

While cleaning the house I did happen to come a cross a random playing card just chilling out in a cabinet. Only one card was there. The card? The deuce of hearts. I'm a coach at DeucesCracked.com. I figure it's a sign that there was a deuce, and only a deuce, just chillin' in the house. Here's to hoping our deuces don't get cracked!

Preflop

2010-01-25T01:41:00.001-06:00

Although I am certainly the least qualified among us to begin a poker blog, I am most definitely the most bored (being stuck in the last tired hours of my night desk job), and we all know that that is often the deciding factor when it comes to these things. We are approximately one week from the beginning of this universally deigned "odd" venture, and I, for one, am feeling giddiness I haven't known since my first two decades of "firsts". This whole thing started with a common desire to escape some of the mindless restrictions placed on our trade in this country, as well as just a general desire to be outside these borders. But how awkward would it be to move to a foreign place with strangers? Furthermore, too much red tape for immediate comfort and no passport yet. So, being the thoroughly logical folks that we are, we decided to form a jumping off point. Training wheels. See if the four of us can live together in the true mean of this country -- the Midwest -- and make some serious cash in the process.

As far as poker goes, the skill ranges from me, the novice, to a poker coach who has been playing successfully for years. It's hard to tell who will benefit the most from this arrangement, but I know that I can't imagine anyone of my experience level being as lucky as having three moneymakers helping to accelerate my game. We will be covering every level from the 25NL (that would be me of course) to the 400NL as this begins. Hold 'em is the game, but all forms of poker will make appearances from time to time.

Although introduced as a "poker blog" and the implication that all posts will be strictly about poker, the intent is to provide a space for us all to write about the experience of living and playing this game together. Hopefully we can provide some insight into a fairly uncharted territory, or at least just have an outlet to document these first steps.