Threads' birthday was this past weekend, which was a welcome respite from our usual weekend schedule of grinding ad infinitum. I happily took the opportunity to spring a couple dishes on the gathering, and I will now share the tastiness with you all (I promise I'll get back to poker soon...just please don't make me yet...pretty please).
Drinks first, because you will have to start this one first if you make the grand trio of recipes that I have presented for you here. I will call it grog even though it has nothing to do with the traditional pirate version. It just makes me feel like it wants to be grog rather than something fruitier as it would appear. So, here you go:
You'll want to get about three to four cups worth of bite-size fruits (think melons, berries, grapes...not so much the bananas that the guys kept insisting would be awesome...I assure you, bananas would be disasterous, but go ahead if you must). Soak the fruit in everclear or vodka or rum. We used 100 proof absolut and it was quite scrumptious. Rum, of course, would add a pretty strong flavor. No no, on spiced rum. Yuck. Let it soak for several hours and then add two bottles of sweet white wine and chill. Grog grogginess. Word of caution: this is some sneaky stuff. Don't let the prettiness fool you.
Next is the best salsa ever. The Salsa of the Gods. I'll even tell you the secrets that send it over the top. I can't remember who gave my family the recipe, but he has earned his place in heaven, and that has to be thanks enough, right?
Okay: 2 medium tomatoes, 1/2 medium yellow onion, 1 can rotel, 1 can stewed Mexican style tomatoes, 3-6 jalapenos, 8-10 cloves of garlic, good handful of cilantro, 1t. garlic powder, 1T. cumin, 3 pinches coriander, 1/2t. salt, 1/4t. pepper. All of this in a food processor and voila. Here are the few things you need to do to bring it the heights of the holy mountain: 1) seed the tomatoes and drain the canned tomatoes to reduce the wateriness of finished product, 2) never (ever ever ever) use white or red onions...believe me, I made the mistake once and almost cried I was so disappointed in the vile, bitter product (not that I cry; hush, you!), 3) seed the jalapenos unless you want some serious heat; there is no wussiness to saying no to the heat and, besides, it gets in the way of eating the exccessive amounts you will want to eat of this stuff, 4) be generous with the cilantro; I usually end up using about half a bunch; but, then, I am obsessive about cilantro, 5) most importantly, fresh grind coriander seed for the coriander; you will not believe the difference it makes.
Finally, is my improvised take on a dip that made me a very fat and happy child with my mom making it as often as I could beg her too (which was just often enough to keep me appeased...and chunktaculur). Again, fair warning: this could destroy your life...and you'll like it.
Start with some chopped up bacon and half a sweet yellow onion (as in the other half unused from the salsa, hint, hint). Around 8 slices of bacon should do it, and I used turkey bacon, not that that helps the overall effect of instant fattening goodness. I just like the taste of turkey bacon. Saute in a cast iron skillet until the onion is softened, then take off the heat and add a can of refried beans, 8oz. sour cream, 4 oz. cream cheese, 1 package of shredded Mexican mix cheese (7oz. I think, and it's just cheddar and Monterrey Jack), 2t. chili powder, 1/2t. cumin, 1/2t. garlic powder, and 1/2c. of the salsa you just made. Mix until smooth and then spread evenly on the bottom of the pan. Now, get this, sprinkle a whole other bag of Mexican cheese on top and throw in a 375 degree oven for about 20 minutes, until it's all melted and bubbly.
Let me tell you, with this trio, you're going to be looking for any dang excuse to party. Better watch yourself.
Cheers,
Jesper
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